One year for Mother’s Day my oldest son gave me a hand-made card with a detailed mathematical breakdown of how many school lunches I put together over the years. It made me smile. And gasp. With four kids, the total came to more than 8,600 sack lunches with hundreds of apples, carrot sticks, sandwiches, yogurt, homemade granola bars and so on.

After watching the beginning of season #2 of Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, I’m looking back with fondness on making all those thousands of sack lunches. Maybe not so much with fondness, but definitely with relief.

Last year Jamie’s reality series took place in Huntington, WV. This year he’s taking on the LA public school system and if the looks on the faces of the school bureaucrats he tried to meet with are any indication of what’s to come, Jamie better get some linebacker bodyguards to hang out with.

If you watched last week you know that Jamie blasted two major components of the LA public school lunch program – flavored milk and pink slime.

One cup of strawberry flavored milk contains 6 teaspoons of sugar. Not to mention dyes, additives, artificial flavors and gums. In a jaw-dropping demonstration, Jamie loaded a school bus with 57 tons of sugar (it was actually sand). That’s how much sugar kids in the LA school district consume each week in flavored milk alone.

Does anyone wonder why type 2 diabetes is being reported among children at such alarming rates? And obesity? For the record, I don’t think an occasional sweet treat is evil, but I do know that refined sugar enters the bloodstream quickly and can cause rapid fluctuations in blood sugar levels. That doesn’t set the stage for effective learning or healthy cognitive development. There’s also evidence that artificial flavors and dyes can cause behavior problems, allergic reactions and food sensitivities.

On to part two of Jamie’s attack on the LA school sytem – pink slime. Artificially flavored, sugar-bomb milk is bad enough, but this stuff is over-the-top disgusting on so many levels. In another gag-inducing demo (just in case we might want the recipe) Jamie shows us how pink slime is made. Take the discarded bits, pieces and trimmed fat from the processing of meat (the parts normally used in pet food) and drench them in ammonia to get rid of the nasty pathogens. Once the ammonia has done its job (it’s called the kill-step), the pink slime is made into burgers for school lunches. Ammonia gets rid of the contamination in the meat (if you can call it meat). And get this, ammonia doesn’t have to be listed as an ingredient in burgers made from pink slime. According to the USDA, ammonia is not an ingredient, it’s part of the processing.

Huh?

Sketchy logic if you ask me.

By the way, pink slime is really what this stuff is called. There are even industrial processors known for using the dregs of the meat packing industry to make pink slime for fast food burgers.

So, in addition to all the sugar and additives, kids also get a dose of ammonia and discarded meat sludge for lunch. Healthy building blocks for growing bodies? Not even close.

Jamie definitely his work cut out for him.

Okay, I’m stepping off my soap box to go throw up.

Peace, love and sack lunches.
Melissa

For a detailed post I did several years ago on sugar, check here.
For kid-friendly lunch ideas, check with Kelly at the Spunky Coconut, Ali at The Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen, or Alexa at Lexie’s Kitchen.

This small, dried, light-colored French bean variety is called the flageolet bean. The word also means delicate woodwind or flute instrument. Leave it to the French to come up with a fancy word that combines beans with tooting. Linguistic inflation is rampant in France. Not that that’s a bad thing. Wouldn’t you agree that flageolet beans sound far more exotic, highfalutin and gourmet-ish than kidney beans?

Look at that French country color, they even look snooty.

Now that the lowly bean has been elevated in stature, I’m going to throw in a little bioscience and share what actually happens when we eat these little gems. Fancy words or not, indiscriminate digestive rumblings can (and often do) occur after eating beans.

Here’s why.

Let’s start with the endogenous microbial block party going on inside the large colon. According to National Institutes of Health scientists at the Human Microbiome Project, we have 100 trillion bacteria in our distal gut alone.

Yikes!

Beans contain some rather large and unwieldy sugar molecules called oligosaccharides that we can’t easily digest and utilize. We didn’t come equipped with the right enzymes to break down these massive (molecularly speaking) lug-nuts, so instead of being processed in the small intestine as they should be, they bounce their way through the gut relatively untouched and arrive in the colon as an all-you-can-eat buffet for roving herds of bacteria.

Imagine a medieval barbarian banquet – a feeding frenzy of gulping, burping and farting bacteria. If you think about it, it’s really not you tooting, it’s the unruly bacteria. So quit blaming the dog (poor guy) and place blame where it belongs. On the gluttonous bugs, their innate behavior and offensive methane byproducts.

There’s another thing about beans that has been making the food blog rounds lately. Are they highly toxic if eaten raw?

Okay, you’re thinking, who in the world eats raw, dried beans?

Well, who eats coins, dead crickets, paper clips and golf tees?

Little boys.

If you don’t believe me, I’ll show you an x-ray of my son with a stack of coins in his gut. Kids eat weird things, just ask any ER doc.

Raw, dried or undercooked kidney beans contain a toxic compound that can cause severe nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain and diarrhea. According to the FDA, most beans contain this compound, but raw kidney beans contain an enormously large amount. The hemagglutinating unit (hau) is the substance measured for toxicity, with raw kidney beans topping out at between 20,000 to 70,000 hau. Cooked beans contain from 200 to 400 hau. It only takes 4 or 5 raw kidney beans to make an adult sick, so imagine a little kid eating only 1 or 2. Don’t expect your GI doc to know anything about natural plant toxins, so if you call and say your kid is sick after eating one raw kidney bean, he/she will think you’re a nutbar. Or at the very least, an incredibly neurotic mom.

In this case, you could be both and still be right.

To be on the safe side and to avoid having to explain what phytohaemagglutinin means to an overly busy ER doc, make sure your curious little kiddos don’t stick raw beans in their ears, up their nose, eat them or feed them to the dog. Beans can be enough trouble when they’re cooked, avoid them raw at all costs.

For more fun with digestion, you might also like
• Erin’s well-written poop post love to eat : hate to digest from Mysteries Internal
• Heidi’s incredibly detailed and informative post Hello Flora, How You Doin‘ from Adventures of a Gluten-Free Mom

If you’ve read through all this digestion turmoil, you deserve a recipe for flageolet beans. I’ve made them on several occasions and love the delicate, buttery taste. They’re delicious. You can use them in salads, soups or as a side dish. Add roasted tomatoes to the cooked beans and top with a poached egg and some shredded Parmesan cheese. Absolutely divine.

Basic Flageolet Bean Recipe (courtesy of Bob’s Red Mill with my adaptations)
Sort and rinse before cooking. Soak beans in cold water overnight (I put them in the refrigerator). Drain and rinse well. Add 4 cups of water or chicken broth for every 1 cup of flageolet beans. Liquid should be 1-2 inches above the top of beans. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer for 1-2 hours. Add more liquid as needed.

• 1 cup of dried beans yields about 2-1/2 cup cooked beans
• cooked beans can store in the fridge for about a week
• cooked beans last about 6 months in the freezer

You might also like
•  Soup au Pistou Recipe with flageolet beans from 101 Cookbooks (use gluten-free pasta)

Peace, love and well-cooked beans!
Melissa

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and although I love chocolate, jewelry and other girlie things, I’d prefer a new ski rack for my car, an Isis hoodie down jacket (in arctic blue), or a year’s worth of SPOT tracking. I’m way too picky about my jewelry and chocolate to hint around for anything from those categories.

Very picky. Neurotically so.

In fact, it’s best that I just whip up my own chocolate Valentine treats and pick out my own jewelry. That way I get exactly what I want. Which is the point of gift-getting. Right? I’m not spoiled or anything – at least not from my perspective.

But did I mention picky?

I need jewelry suited to the backcountry (sparkly, silver and indestructible) and high-end, organic, gluten-free, papaya-infused, almond-laced, dark chocolate with a sprinkling of freshly-ground, pink Himalayan sea salt. Freshly-ground sea salt. Like, that minute.

See what I mean? Uber-picky.

Hopefully I’ll get a new ski rack instead. I’m not as picky about that.

Okay, I’m picky about that, too. I want the Yakima FatCat 6 so I can put my skis on top of my car without taking off my “ice station zebra” mittens. If anyone is listening.

We’ll see how things turn out. In the meantime, here’s a recipe for delightful and decadent Valentine chocolate squares. Make them for your sweetheart or for yourself. This is so easy, it’s practically cheating. Actually, is cheating, but that’s okay. It’s for a good cause.

Super-easy, gluten-free, chocolate Valentine treats
what you need
6.5 ounces organic dark chocolate, coarsely chopped *
2-3 tablespoons dried papaya, diced
2-3 tablespoons almonds, chopped
freshly-ground sea salt

what you do
1. Melt the chocolate in a heatproof bowl over a pan of simmering water. Continually stir until the chocolate is fully melted. Add papaya and almond pieces, blend well.
2. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. You can also use tin foil.
3. Using a spatula, evenly spread the melted chocolate, papaya and almond mixture onto parchment paper.
4. Sprinkle with very small and rustic sea salt chunks. OMG, this makes it wonderful.
5. Refrigerate for 2 hours. Cut into 2 inch squares and dazzle your Valentine (or yourself).
6. Store in airtight container in the refrigerator.

* I used 2 organic Chocolove dark chocolate (61% cocoa content) bars. Chocolove also makes a 55% cocoa content bar if you prefer less intense flavor and 73% and 77% versions if you like the high-octane stuff. The higher the cocoa content, the stronger and more bitter the taste. If you don’t have access to Chocolove, use another version of dark chocolate.

* You can also use dried cherries, dried apricots, peppermint chunks, or whatever your heart desires. Be creative.

For more of my gluten-free chocolate treats, check the following recipes
Enlightened hot chocolate
Chocolate Beet Cupcakes
Babycakes Chocolate Brownies

More gluten-free chocolate love from around the blogosphere
Gluten-free sunflower chocolate squares from Carol at Simply Gluten Free
Raw chocolate and raspberry candy from Kelly at The Spunky Coconut
Valentine’s Day dark and white chocolate cake pops from Elana at Elana’s Pantry
Chocolate layer cake from Ali at The Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen
Flourless chocolate cake from Shirley at Gluten Free Easily
Chocolate coconut pudding from Karen at Cooks 4 Seasons
Twisted chocolate bark from Diane at The W.H.O.L.E. Gang
Kids in the kitchen dairy free fudge from Alta at Tasty Eats at Home

Peace, love and chocolate! Or a ski rack. Or both.
Melissa

Flatter me. But be careful.

I’m in the midst of writing a blog post on nutrition and brain health and while it’s in the works, I thought I’d dig this past post out of my WordPress archive basement, dust it off and rerun it. It has to do with brain function, so it will be a good precursor to the one I’m working on now. This one was written three years ago, but nothing has changed. The research still stands and yes, I’m proud to say I have a summa cum laude booty to shake.

Maybe the question should be, does this PhD make my butt look big?

Ladies, the next time you’re doing that thing in front of the mirror where you squirm around twisting and twirling, trying to see whether your jeans look too tight or your bum looks too big, just stop. Don’t even bother. You’re way too smart for that. Seriously. Research shows a direct correlation between an ample booty and increased cognitive ability. In women and their offspring.

Huh?

Whose idea was it to do a study on curvy women and brain power, anyway?

I wonder. But, I’m also not complaining. In fact, it’s about dang time we celebrated our brainy curves.

The study I’m referring to has to do with omega-3 fatty acids (no pun intended), a woman’s waist-to-hip ratio (WHP) and the relative proportion of upper-body fat to lower-body fat. We’re talking smaller waists and bigger rear-ends and hips, so this full-figured, hippo-mamma featured above wouldn’t qualify. She doesn’t exactly have a small waist, but we can safely say she’s bottom heavy.

Dr. William Lassek, a rather geeky* University of Pittsburgh epidemiologist, co-authored a study entitled, Waist-hip ratio and cognitive ability: is gluteofemoral fat a privileged store of neurodevelopmental resources? Published in Evolution and Human Behavior, it suggests that men prefer women with smaller waists and wider hips for evolutionary reasons. Survival of the fittest. According to the research, those women are smarter and have a heightened survival advantage. In addition, the study found that the children of vee-vee-la-voom moms also scored higher on cognitive tests.

The body fat around a woman’s hips is higher in omega-3s, which improves brain function and is important to fetal neuro-development. Omega-3s also boost fertility and overall health. According to Dr. Lassek and his colleagues, it stands to reason that for survival purposes, men would prefer women who are smarter, more fertile, healthier and who produce brighter offspring. The curves just come with the territory.

Oooh, I get it. So, men can’t help it?

Gawking at curvy women is just a matter of male genetic expression. Slack-jawed drooling can’t possibly be part of the natural selection process, so don’t get carried away, but this is certainly interesting and entertaining research.

And, little did we know that waist-to-hip ratio has been of interest to evolutionary psychologists for years now. Several studies, including an analysis of data collected by the US Department of Health and Human Services (our tax dollars at work), link female body shape with mental performance. Lower-body fat (hips and booty) is higher in omega-3s while abdominal and upper-body fat is higher in omega-6s and saturated fats. It is hypothesized that omega-6s are less important to brain development and function and may even be detrimental. Omega-3s are thought to enhance communication between brain cells, making for zippy intelligence.

Using data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES), researchers compared female waste-to-hip ratios to scores on cognitive function tests and found that a lower WHR correlated with higher scores. They also found that as the mom’s ratio goes down, the children’s intelligence goes up. The data is fairly persuasive. The study sample included more than 16,000 women and the curvy girls outsmarted the skinny and pear-shaped girls on cognitive tests – same with their offspring.

Are you wondering how to figure out this magical ratio and how your IQ is somehow connected to your rear-end? You divide your waist measurement by your hip measurement and hope for the best. According to these guys (remember these are guys doing the research), this study suggests an “ideal” WHR of somewhere around 0.6 to 0.7. Think J-Lo. Small waist, ample booty.

Bottom line? Next time you shop for new jeans and you have to give up after 10 minutes of shimmying and wrestling with a size that just won’t cooperate with you, let it go.

You’re too smart for those jeans, anyway.

*I happen to find “geeky” very appealing. I’m thinking the curvy women, if they were that smart, probably chose the guys who could protect them from the sabertooth tigers. Would that be the strong caveman-types or the resourceful and bright MacGyver-types? Well, here we are a bazillion years later and it’s the geeky guys doing the research on the curvy girls.

Isn’t life grand? Evolutionarily speaking.

You might also like another interesting male/female study I wrote about – gluten-free pumpkin pecan boyfriend bait

Embrace your curves and shake your booty!
Melissa

Nancy Drew here.

You might recall that I’m pretty famous for solving mysteries. I’ve got a baffling, whodunit on my hands and have been doing some investigating. Now I need your help in solving the case.

Would you consider the following ingredients to be wholesome?

So there’s no confusion, here’s a good description of what the word wholesome means, straight from The New Oxford American Dictionary. Word for word.

Wholesome – conducive to or suggestive of good health and physical well-being: the food is plentiful and very wholesome. (New Oxford American Dictionary.)

Here’s the list.

INGREDIENTS: RICE, SUGAR, HYDROGENATED VEGETABLE OIL (COCONUT AND PALM KERNEL OIL), SALT, CONTAINS LESS THAN 5% OF NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, RED 40, YELLOW 6, TURMERIC OLEORESIN (COLOR), BLUE 1, YELLOW 5, BLUE 2, BHA (TO HELP PROTECT FLAVOR).

By the way, I’m not trying to make a point with that capital-letter-yelling-thing. It was capitalized on the box, so I figured I better honor the formatting of the document. I want to be objective (okay, that’s probably impossible) and fair (hopefully). The “fair” part is important in getting honest answers, especially when you’re a famous detective. Not to mention a cute, cultural icon.

Does that list represent wholesome? I’m wondering because right next to the list of ingredients on the website’s nutrition information is the declaration that this is a “wholesome, sweetened, rice cereal.” They even advertise it as wholesome in CAPITAL letters on the front of the cereal box. Right next to (you guessed it, in all caps) “excellent source of vitamin D.” I’m not going to go into depth about the vitamins added because I don’t know enough about vitamin A palmitate or the vitamin D they added. Vitamin A palmitate is the synthetic form of vitamin A and although I did find some potentially negative side effects associated with it, I don’t have enough information to comment on it. Having said that, I’ve always felt that it’s much better to get your nutrients from fresh, whole (preferably organic) foods, which are honestly WHOLESOME.

Back to that word as it relates to the advertising of this cereal.

Wholesome?

Really?

Are you SERIOUS? (that was yelling.)

By what standards? This is a giant leap if I’ve ever seen one. It doesn’t take a detective to figure this one out.

I took these photos, but didn’t paste those styrofoam-ish, neon-colored, perfume-smelling, creepy-crawly things onto the side of the bowl. They struck out on their own. Wonder if they were trying to escape the organic milk?

Okay, bottom line?

This is awful. It breaks my heart to think little kids are being fed this stuff then sent off to school and forced to sit still and attempt to learn. Kids with food intolerances are more likely to suffer from ADD-like symptoms. Factor in dyes, additives, chemicals and sugar and they are at such a disadvantage. It’s sad. The ingredients in this box are not nourishing building blocks for growing children. I’ve often thought the gluten-free community was lucky NOT to have all these low-grade, processed food choices. It took some time, but the Standard American Diet (SAD) is making its way into the gluten-free community. In my mind, that’s not something to celebrate.

Okay, enough ranting. Looking on the bright side, this gives us more reason to learn, become aware and equip ourselves with the knowledge we need to make smart choices.

My conclusion? This cereal is about as far from WHOLESOME as you can get. Marketing this stuff to kids with brightly colored boxes, cartoon characters, games and toys is beyond icky. But we do have free choice. We can think for ourselves.

Don’t buy it. Don’t eat food that looks like dried out crayon shavings. You’re the boss of your food. Period.

Oh, I almost forgot about my original question. So, what do you think? Wholesome or not?

Peace, love and well-nourished kids!
P.S. Don’t eat cereal that dyes your milk lavender and lime green.

What would your life be like if you never engaged in this health-zapping cycle of overeating, fatigue, craving and weight gain. What if you never again treated your body like a trash can?

Thank you to the lovely Heidi B for that analogy. Heidi is a full-time yoga teacher. A smart, spiritual, beautiful, India-visiting, committed yogi on a seeker’s path.

She walked into the studio at 6:30 AM the other morning to teach her class and asked if anyone else felt like they had been overdoing it during the holidays? She said she was treating her body like a trash can and wondered who else might be struggling with the same thing.

Wow, I respect her honesty. My gosh, she’s a yoga teacher. She’s supposed to be drinking filtered water with a squeeze of organic lemon and eating farm-fresh veggies every day. Not candy, French fries and red wine.

Yes, I did relate and waved my arm in the air from child’s pose, indicating I was guilty of the “trash can” phenomenon as well. I’m a nutritionist and Heidi’s a yoga teacher. We’re not supposed to do that, right?

Wrong.

Almost everyone wanders down that road on occasion. We both ate too much of whatever it is we eat too much of at times like this. We all have our personal comfort cravings. Add in the stress of the holidays (even the good stress) and you’ve got a “recipe” for a food-filled train wreck. I’m typically seduced by pie, muffins, pancakes, syrup and red wine.

Oh, and for the record, I’ll take this opportunity to pat myself on the back for never drinking red wine with pancakes. I do have standards.

Pie and red wine? Now that’s another story.

Here’s my problem (not that you asked). Most of the time my over-indulging takes the form of fairly healthy food, in fact “real” food. Organic food. Often times, it’s even local food. How cool is that? But that can be a faulty premise. Or, at least one that is easy to justify, defend and make excuses for.

Pastured, organic butter and whipping cream, rich in CLA. Local, organic CSA potatoes and pumpkins. Raw, organic cheese. Locally made, organic chocolate bars (73% organic dark cocoa). Smooth, velvety, sulfite-free red wine. Organic, whole grain, gluten-free flour. Local, Rocky Mountain wildflower honey. It’s not like I’m eating fast food. Lovingly put this stuff together and you have the most amazing muffins, twice-baked potatoes, home-cooked French fries, cookies or pumpkin pie.

Get my drift?

Healthy, real food ingredients, but no excuse to shovel it in. Or, stand with the refrigerator door open, eating giant spoonfuls of home-made, organic whipped cream right out of the bowl (conveniently perched at arm level). Maybe dabbing some on a random, nearby muffin.

Not that I know anyone who would do that.

With 2011 upon us, most people have written up lists of New Year’s resolutions. Exercise more. Eat more veggies. Don’t over-eat. Lose weight. Meditate. Do yoga. Same story each year.

What would your life be like if you really believed that everything you needed, you already had? What would your life be like if you simply spent the year treating your body like the temple that it is? No lists, no resolutions, just respect and commitment.

In the spirit of honesty, I do have a few resolutions, but rather than list them, I’m going to keep them to myself and take this time to express gratitude for my health and make a silent promise (over and over) to honor that through awareness, healthy choices and moderation.

And thank God, there’s no more pumpkin pie and whipped cream.

If you’re interested in increasing your mind/body/food awareness, please check here for a past post I did on food, fuzz, movement and inner space. It includes information on how to incorporate healthy eating habits into your life. It’s also a guideline to an anti-inflammatory diet and includes a video that will take you deep inside.

* I can’t end this without a footnote from Heidi B. When I thought about writing this post, I emailed Heidi to ask permission to use her name and comments. Her response to my email was, “Sure! You can use me. I’m still struggling, but totally aware. Yea!”

I love that.

Awareness. That’s the key. The more we understand the magic of what’s going on inside our bodies, the more likely we are to appreciate and take care of this wonderful creation, even as we struggle along.

Wishing you peace, love, awareness and small steps towards more radiant health in 2011.
Melissa
P.S. Please ignore the fact that my last 3 posts were for gluten-free cherry cobbler, pumpkin pie muffins (the boyfriend bait version) and pistachio cranberry brownies. Hey, this food blogging thing is a struggle.

In keeping with my off-beat blog titles, this post could also be called, “Caffeine: the good, the bad and the stupid.”

I even have a research study to go with it, so pour yourself a cup of coffee and put on your geek hat. If you’re not in the mood for my take on liquid lubrication or the good and bad of caffeine, you can skip right to the recipe. Scroll away, I’ll never know.

But you might find this interesting. It’s cutting-edge (okay, just edgy) stuff from a group of researchers at the University of Queensland in Australia. Their multiple experiments revealed that not only does caffeine increase attention, information-processing, and the twitchy jitters, it also makes us more susceptible to influence. We can be persuaded to change our minds more readily if we’ve been drinking coffee. We’re more gullible.

Yikes!

And all this time I thought it was wine that made me do stupid things. Just think, we can start and end the day by being persuaded to do something we might not normally do.

Caffeine-mediated arm twisting followed by wine-induced lack of judgement.

Now that you’ve had that cup of attitude-adjusting coffee, can I interest you in a brownie? They’re delicious and full of dark chocolate flavor. In fact, they’re even moderately healthy. What do you think? I know you want one. They’re gluten-free.

Were you persuaded? If so, you can pick up the recipe at the end of the post, but first I’m going to give you my take on coffee drinking. You might be surprised, especially coming from a kale-eating, yoga-practicing, holistic nutritionist.

Caffeine: the good the bad and the stupid.

We’ll start with the good (sort of).

• Boosts memory and alertness
• Improves circulation
• Increases metabolism and conversion of fat to energy
• Relaxes smooth muscles in the digestive tract
• Boosts muscle strength, speed and endurance in some situations
• May reduce asthma symptoms
• May reduce the risk of Parkinson’s disease
• May reduce the risk of gallstones
• Coffee is the #1 source of antioxidants in the American diet (yikes! that’s not good)
• Coffee contains dietary fiber
• May reduce the risk of developing Type II Diabetes
• May be associated with a reduced risk of colon cancer
• Good, organic, high-grade coffee smells divine and tastes wonderful (my opinion)

On to the bad.

• Caffeine increases cortisol (the stress hormone) levels causing the fight or flight response
• Causes a rise in blood pressure
• Can inhibit adenosine (neurotransmitter), which calms the body, causing sleep disturbances
• Continuous adenosine blocking wreaks havoc on normal circadian rhythms
• Interrupts the deep sleep cycle and along with it, important rest and regeneration
• Is addictive and functions much in the same way as amphetamines
• Can give you a temporary boost, followed by fatigue and mood swings later
• Is addictive and causes unpleasant detox symptoms upon withdrawal
• May interrupt conception at levels over 500 mg per day
• Studies show caffeine is bad for the developing nervous systems (children)

And now the stupid.

• Caffeine makes you more susceptible to persuasion (see above study). You might get talked into buying a purple, metallic, PT Cruiser or a tight, leopard-print, mini-skirt. You might even say yes to taking on a project you have no time or interest in.
• A Starbucks Venti Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha is 700 calories! Yes, 700 calories.
• A coffee grande from Starbucks contains about 550 mg of caffeine, almost 3 times as much as a NoDoz. The half-life of caffeine in the body is around 6 hours, so if you drink a 200 mg cup of coffee at 4 PM, at 10 PM you will have 100 mg of caffeine floating around your system and blocking your adenosine receptor sites. That will mess up your sleep cycle, which is not good.

Bottom line? There are some good things about coffee, so like everything else in life, moderation is the key. One cup of coffee in the morning is fine. If you “need” it to wake up and “need” it throughout your day, that is bad. Choose a high-grade, organic coffee and enjoy a cup on occasion (unless you’re hypersensitive).

Gluten-free coffee cranberry pistachio brownies (inspired by Coastal Living online)
what you need
1/4 cup coconut oil
4.8 ounces dark chocolate, chopped (or close to that, see notes below) *
1 teaspoon instant coffee granules (see notes below) *
2 large eggs
1/4 cup cooked and puréed beets (this adds sweetness and moisture to GF baked goods)
2/3 cup organic Turbinado sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp sea salt
1/2 cup Pamela’s Gluten-Free Baking & Pancake Mix
1/2 cup dry-roasted, unsalted pistachios
1/3 cup dried cranberries

what you do
1. Line an 8-inch square baking pan with nonstick aluminum foil.
2. Pour water to the depth of a couple of inches int to the bootom of a double boiler over medium heat. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to a simmer. Place coconut oil, chocolate chunks and coffee granules in the top of the double boiler over the simmering water. Cook, stirring occasionally until melted. Remove from heat and let cool.
3. In a large mixing bowl, beat eggs on low speed. Add puréed beets, sugar, vanilla and salt; beat until blended. Stir in chocolate mixture and fold in Pamela’s mix. Stir in pistachios and cranberries.
4. Pour into prepared baking pan, spreading batter evenly. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for about 30 to 32 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out with only a few crumbs. Cool on wire rack. Cover and refrigerate for 8 hours or overnight. Cut into squares and serve. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Like coffee, these little treats have caffeine, so don’t eat them before bed, although I’m not suggesting eating them for breakfast either. Hmmmm? Life can be full of dilemmas.

* I used 1 and 1/2 bars of organic Chocolove 61% dark chocolate (one bar is 3.2 ounces). Check here for details.

* I used Mount Hagen organic instant coffee, but any will do. You can buy Mount Hagen by the jar or in single serving packets. I love the single serving packets for backpacking (seriously wonderful stuff). Check here for details.

You might also like:

Dark chocolate details (another off-beat blog post)
Carnival of love (okay, my archives are full of quirky posts)

Peace, joy and persuasion (the good kind).
Melissa

I know, I know. Not the best keyword-rich title for a recipe post, but these cupcakes lead to hanky-panky. I thought I better mention that right off.

Sometimes I just can’t help myself. Off-the-wall recipe titles often trump SEO in my world. I understand that’s not the best strategy for improving online search results, but it’s so much more fun. Plus, I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to mix cupcakes with sex.

According to a recent study by the Taste and Smell Treatment and Research Foundation, essence of pumpkin is the way to a man’s heart. Or, at least to his boy parts.

Dr. Alan Hirsch and his smart-smelling colleague, Dr. Jason Gruss, conducted an in-depth plethysmographic (don’t even ask) study on the food smells men find most sexually stimulating. Empirically documented through hemodynamic testing (so to speak).

The results are in and guess what, ladies? No need to wear high heels or buy expensive perfume (not that I do either). Just stick a doughnut in your pocket, munch on some licorice and sprinkle pumpkin pie spice in your hair. You’ll be irresistible.

But, be careful. I’d think twice before setting bait for the doughnut guys.

The Top 10 Odors Male Volunteers Responded To
(actively responded to, like in a physically noticeable way)
1. Pumpkin pie and lavender
2. Doughnut and black licorice
3. Pumpkin pie and doughnut
4. Orange
5. Lavender and doughnut
6. Black licorice and cola
7. Black licorice
8. Doughnut and cola (doughnuts and cola? seriously? who are these guys?)
9. Lily of the valley
10. Buttered popcorn

So — the way to a man’s heart (with a stop here and there) is through pumpkin pie spice and doughnuts? I bet men wish the reverse was that simple.

Doughnuts versus shiny, sparkly things.

Men are from Mars via Dunkin’ Donuts and women are from Venus via the jewelry store (or in my case, Bent Gate Mountaineering).

Here’s a recipe for love ~
Gluten-free pumpkin pecan boyfriend bait cupcakes
(I threw in some chocolate so the ladies would also be in the mood)
what you need
1 and 1/2 cup Pamela’s Gluten-Free Baking & Pancake Mix
1 and 1/2 teaspoon 5-spice blend *
1/3 cup organic Turbinado sugar (or another form of sugar)
1/4 cup coconut oil (melted)
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla (I used Madagascar vanilla — sniff and swoon)
1 and 1/2 cups pumpkin purée (I used Farmer’s Market canned organic pumpkin pie mix, it smells divine)
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1/2 cup chocolate chips (optional, but recommended for obvious reasons)

what you do
• In a medium bowl, whisk together Pamela’s mix with the 5 spice blend. Set aside.
• Place melted coconut oil and sugar in mixer bowl and mix on medium speed until well blended. Blend in eggs (one at a time), vanilla and pumpkin pie purée.
• Slowly add dry ingredients and mix on low speed until well blended.
• Fold in chopped pecans and chocolate chips.
• Fill paper-lined muffin tins 3/4ths full and bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 22 to 26 minutes (depending on your oven temperature), or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. You can also use silicone baking cups.
• Cool on wire rack and see what happens.

* I use Frontier Chinese Five Spice powder. Oh my gosh, the research team should have set their standards higher than doughnuts and popcorn. This stuff is heavenly. It’s a bit exotic though, so if you want to play it safe, use cinnamon (1 teaspoon) and nutmeg (1/4 teaspoon).

* I didn’t make this research story up. Here’s the official study. Anybody up (no pun intended) for a gluten-free version of this research?

You might also like the smell of garam masala and Moroccan stew. Very sensual.

Peace, love and sexy cupcakes.
Melissa
P.S. I almost forgot. These cupcakes are wonderful! Top with cream cheese frosting or vanilla ice cream and serve at your own risk. And selectively.

1. What the average American consumes in one year (courtesy of Visual Economics, check here for the over-indulgent details).

• 53 gallons of soda
• 24 lbs of ice cream
• 141.6 lbs caloric sweetener, includes 42 lbs of corn syrup
• 24 lbs of artificial sweetener
• 600 lbs of non-cheese dairy products
• 110 lbs of red meat
• 134 lbs of wheat flour (who ate my 134 lbs?)
• a total of 1996.3 pounds of food per year

Seriously, how can 1 person (in 1 year) consume 600 lbs of dairy products, excluding cheese? Add in the 31.4 lbs of cheese the average American eats per year and that adds up to 632 lbs of dairy products. Yuck. Just the thought makes my nose stuffy and my head ache.

2. “Per calorie, cooked spinach has more than twice as much protein as a cheeseburger; lentils have a third more protein than meatloaf with gravy.”

Bittman, Mark. Food Matters: A Guide to Conscious Eating, page 85. Simon & Schuster, New York, 2009.

3. What does the word natural mean on food labels?

Not much, if General Mills’ Nature Valley Sweet & Salty Peanut Granola Bars are any indication. The product claims to be “only natural” and that you’ll always be getting The Taste Nature Intended (which is a General Mills registered phrase). Okay, here’s the label ingredient list. Is this what nature intended? Would you call this natural?

Ingredients: roasted peanuts, high maltose corn syrup, sugar, rolled oats, high fructose corn syrup, palm kernel oil, crisp rice (rice flour, sugar, malt, salt), wheat flakes (whole wheat, sugar, salt, malt), fructose, peanut butter (peanuts, salt), yogurt powder (cultured whey protein concentrate, cultured skim milk, yogurt cultures), canola oil, water, maltodextrin, salt, nonfat milk, soy lecithin, color (yellows 5 & 6 lake, red 40 lake, blue 1 lake, and other color added), natural flavor, almonds, baking soda, honey, sunflower meal, mixed tocopherols added to retain freshness.

Whew, did nature really intend for us to eat all that icky stuff? If nothing else, the list of dyes should be a tip-off that natural isn’t natural to the folks at GM. And what does “other color added” mean? Like yellows, reds and blues aren’t enough? And what does “natural flavor” mean in the midst of all that? Does that mean the other flavors are unnatural? My online dictionary/thesaurus includes “undyed, uncolored and unbleached” in its description of the word natural. UH-OH, I can no longer call myself (or at least my hair) natural as I occasionally have “other color added” in the way of a few sun-kissed streaks here and there. Don’t tell anyone.

Bottom line? The food industry has a weird and skewed definition of the word natural. Make your own granola bars. Check here for one of my recipes. Or, here for one of Shirley’s recipes at Gluten Free Easily.

4. Who hates Brussels sprouts?

Whoa, almost all of you? Okay, here are some tips and facts to help you warm-up to Brussels sprouts.

• Don’t overcook them as it promotes the release of those unpleasant (and stinky) sulfur compounds that give them a bitter taste. It also destroys the vitamin C. Quick cooking leaves the delicate, nutty flavor of the vegetable. You can also eat the leaves. It’s okay, I promise.
• To retain nutrients and flavor, quick steam, stir fry or quick roast sprouts. Sauté the leaves with other veggies in a touch of coconut oil and mix with brown rice.
• Hold sprouts in your hand and choose the ones that feel heavy for their size. If possible, pick sprouts still on the stalk and buy the smallest stalk. Those are the sweetest.
• One cup (60 calories) of Brussels sprouts provides 273% of the recommended daily value of vitamin K and 161% of the recommended value of vitamin C. They’re also high in folate and vitamin A, along with a host of other cancer-fighting, anti-inflammatory, heart healthy, detoxing, and health-loving plant chemicals. These little gems are the real deal, hundreds of research studies have taken place on the health benefits of Brussels sprouts.

5. Gomasio
I love this stuff. It’s SO good sprinkled on salads, rice, quinoa, soups, stews, sautéed veggies, Brussels sprouts (see above). Be creative, sprinkle outside the lines.

Here’s a simple (and wonderful) calcium-rich, nutty, yummy condiment. The sesame seeds provide lots of bone-building nutrients. They’re high in calcium, magnesium, iron, phosphorus and zinc – and rich in fiber. One fourth cup of sesame seeds also contain 74% of the recommended daily value of copper. Studies show that copper may help people suffering from rheumatoid arthritis. Good stuff, although not low in calories (high oil content) so keep that in mind. Store in a glass jar in a cool, dark, dry place.

• 1 cup white sesame seeds
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground sea salt

In a small skillet, dry roast the seeds on medium heat for about 5 minutes, stirring often until they begin to brown. Using a blender or mortar and pestle (I use a mortar and pestle), blend or crush together the warm sesame seeds and salt. Use immediately or store in an airtight container in the refrigerator for several weeks. Recipe from The Kripalu Cookbook: Gourmet Vegetarian Recipes.

* You can also add dried garlic or dried celery to the mix.

Peace, love and REAL natural food!
Melissa

What do the following signs and symptoms suggest to you?

• IBS and severe diarrhea
• Weight loss and failure to thrive
• Skin rashes and hair loss
• Allergies
• Joint pain and arthritis
• Low energy and brain fog
• Autoimmune thyroid disease
• Autoimmune adrenal disorder
• Eating grass

Maybe those of you (us) with celiac disease don’t munch on grass (the lawn-mowing kind, not the marijuana kind), but I bet many of you with gluten intolerance can relate to some of what’s mentioned above.

This is my guy Fairbanks. Handsome fellow, don’t you agree? Big, strong, healthy, independent, full of energy (excuse me while I gush and overdo the photos).

Seriously, is that a good looking dog, or what?

He almost died a few years ago. He was so close to that big dog park in the sky that he couldn’t even lift his head off the ground. He went from 130 pounds to well under 100 and had a wide variety of serious health problems. The vet couldn’t figure it out and I wondered if he was silently suggesting that it might be time to let Fairbanks go. But, being the “care-taker” that I am (not to mention, nutritionist), I wasn’t ready to let that happen. To make a long and convoluted story short, I became convinced he had the canine version of gluten intolerance.

After several blood tests and vet-to-various-vet discussions, it was determined that he had some autoimmune conditions (sound familiar?). I went along with the thyroid and adrenal meds, as he was one paw in the grave, but I also shifted him to a totally grain free diet and added Nordic Naturals cod liver oil to his daily food. He now eats only meat, fish and some vegetables. He chews on raw beef and bison bones and eats selected people-food leftovers. It took several months, but he’s come back to life, regained his weight and as long as he he isn’t exposed to gluten, he does okay for an old guy (he’s almost 11). If he ingests gluten (via a random dog biscuit), he immediately starts showing signs of celiac disease. Rashes, low energy, brain fog, joint pain, allergies.

The rashes show up on his face (I’m wondering if he has doggie DH). The low energy and joint pain are evident on our daily dog walks. You’re probably wondering how I know he has brain fog. He’s my most favorite special dog in the world, I just know. I call it dogheimers. Or, maybe he’s just meditating, but whatever it is, it accompanies exposure to gluten.

Dogs aren’t supposed to be eating low-grade gluten, corn, soy, dairy and other cheap byproducts pressed into nasty little nuggets. If Fairbanks’ behavior (he’s a backyard squirrel hunter) is any indication of his culinary evolution, they’re supposed to be eating birds, bunnies, squirrels and other small animals. If he was in a pack of Alaskan dogs, I’d say maybe caribou or salmon, but definitely not gluten and soy.

Once I figured out the food he needed to thrive, I found a wonderful local pet shop that carries high-quality, grain-free dog food. I rotate his proteins by purchasing two different bags each time I stock up. One time it might be fish and potato or duck and sweet potato. The next time it might be bison, lamb or venison.

Those of you who’ve been following this blog know about my bordering-on-obsessive love and support for Grant Family Farms. Well, Andy is drifting into the pet food business (sort of), so pastured, organic beef bones and organ meat will also be part of Fairbanks’ diet. I love it! Join a CSA and you and your pet will be healthier and you’ll be supporting the “eat local” movement in new and wonderful ways. Better for your health, your pet’s health and the health of the environment. As it should be.

Peace, love and gluten-free dogs!
Melissa
Okay, okay. If you insist, here’s one more picture. Wasn’t he the cutest puppy ever?!